Obsessed

Day 12: I love food. I am fascinated by food. I observe food and those ingesting it. I strategically plan the best way to eat it. I research the best places to receive the delicious sustenance. I savor, I enjoy, I immerse myself in all things food. I have only just started realizing that not everyone shares my passion for food. Today, I went out to breakfast with Ashley, Sean, and Mitchell. On the way to the little cafe we were going to eat at, I started describing the best food that this restaurant had. As I was going into great detail about the magnificent morsels I could see the wariness in their eyes. "What is she talking about?"

When we arrived at the restaurant I immediately began ogling the other patrons plates of food. It is a habit for me to stare at heaps of food as they pass by my table on the way to their ultimate destination. Apparently, it was not a habit for my friends. I felt like having a traditional breakfast so I ordered two scrambled eggs, hash browns, fruit, and orange juice. I immediately regretted my order when I saw Sean's glorious Huevos Rancheros. They were an absolute dream. So simple, so delicious. My eggs and hash browns had turned from outstanding to garbage with just one taste of the Huevos Rancheros. The bible says not to covet but I cannot deny it: I was coveting Sean's food!

I also saw a man shoveling heaps of eggs and potatoes into his mouth. I was appalled at this lack of enjoyment. He didn't even savor the first bite! The first bite is the best! The first bite is all about the anticipation. In those few moments that the food is moving on the utensil, towards your mouth, anything can happen. You could be about to experience the most fabulous tasting item on the planet. The best is when the taste lives up to your expectations and your mouth transforms into heaven. A teeth and saliva heaven complete with angel taste buds. 

I'm going to end this disoriented blog post now because I could go on for days about food. First bites, last bites, ordering, preparation, wine pairings, the list goes on and on! The point is that today I realized I am a bit more obsessive about food then the average person. I'm hungry now...I'm going to get a cookie. Don't even get me started on these cookies because I could write pages about their homemade magic!

All About Me (Unfortunately)

Day 3: Today is going to be the "all about me" post. I could post this on an "about the author" page but I am going to include all the dirty details. If a reader takes the time to read my post, then they are entitled to know about the skeletons in my closest. "About the author" pages are for small fun facts, not a detailed description like what I am about to write on here. I have been debating about what information I want to post. Should I leave out the bad stuff? I've decided to include the not so happy parts of my life because I want to feel free with this blog. This blog and I are going to be together for a long time; 365 days to be exact. We need to like each other. Plus, I don't think I can hide my demons for a year. Pretending is just too much work. 

Here are some basic facts about me:

1. I'm 16, turning 17 in November.

2. I just graduated high school. I graduated a year early and am now going to my local community college. I am going there because my mom doesn't want to send me away to college at such a young age. I also have no idea what I want to do or if I even want to go to a four year college, so why pay fistfuls of money when I'm unsure?

3. I love to write. Poems, short stories, scripts...I love it all. I have even started writing a novel, which of course I got bored of. This brings me to my next point.

4.I jump from hobby to hobby. Swimming, dance, gymnastics, piano, drums, guitar, acting, writing, and sewing are among the list of hobbies I have attempted. It's a simple fact about me: I like to try new things. Once I try them, I often get bored of them. That is one reason why I wanted to do this blog, so I can finally stick to something. I also have a youtube account. I am close to 200 subscribers and mainly do sketches and vlogs (video blogs). I am taking a break from it right now because I cannot think of any video ideas. My state of mind is just too "ahhhh" right now to even think of anything. See number 6 as to why I am in this fragile state of mind.

5. I have a very negative viewpoint of the world and often rant about people/things that annoy me. If you want a blog full of rainbows and sunshine then leave now. Evacuate this blog immediately because you will find no bubbly cheer here. Run.

6.I am a cutter. I have been cutting since I was 11. I just went into therapy in December of 2009. I hadn't cut for six months, when I went into a downward spiral this August. It may have been circumstances or it may have been my medication (Lexapro) that caused it, either way I was admitted into a program for children and adolescents. "Program" being slang for a mental hospital. The loonie bin, insane asylum, funny farm, and nut house are a few of the colorful terms that can be used to describe it. I wasn't sent there because of the cutting but for suicidal ideation and clinical depression (all these fancy terms!). I got the help I needed though and am now on new medication (Lamictal and Abilify). The future looks a little brighter. I have no problem writing about my depression and have quite a lot of poetry on it. I'm sick of not saying how I feel and knowing people can read about what is going on with me, gives me a lot of relief after not telling anyone for so many years.

7.My parents have been separated for a year.

8. My best friend's names our Kiani, Michelle, Ashley, Sean, and Courtney. My relationship status on facebook is set to "single" but it should be on "it's complicated". David is the name of the person at the center of this complication. Danny is a guy I met during the LBI (Loony Bin Incident). We became pretty close in the short time we had together. Now you know the names of the people I will probably reference to a lot.

9. I worked at a day care for two weeks to help out Sean's mom. She runs the daycare and needed some temporary help until she found someone to be her assistant. That experience really changed my life and I'll be writing about it in the future. Come to think of it, I'll be writing about all of these things in the future.

10. I love food. L-O-V-E! Not eating, just food. Some foods are just ingrained in my memory, they were so delicious.

There you go, 10 facts about me. I hope you have a better idea of what my perspective is and where I'm coming from after reading this. I also hope you will not think I am a complete and utter crazy. How many readers did I just lose?

The First Post

Day 1: Here I am, kicking off "The 365 Blog" on August 26th, 2010. Why I decided today would be a good day to start, I have no idea. I was innocently thinking to myself today, "Where could I post my poems?" Then I remembered my goal of starting a 365 blog. A 365 blog is where you post every day for a year. I admit I stole this idea from youtubers who vlog (video blog) every day for a year. So why not do it? I think I should have some rules though, guidelines for how I will write my blog. That's what people who challenge themselves do. They create rules for their challenge.

Rules:

1. I cannot post a poem every day. I must write an actual post at least three times a week.

Well that was a short-lived attempt. I give up. No rules. I'm not a structured person and I have no idea why I thought I could put some sort of restrictions on my blog. Who am I kidding? This is a complete free for all. As long as I post something every day I'll be happy. "They" say that you should write what you know about. What if you don't know much of anything? I'm 16. The only thing I'm an expert on is texting without looking.

To be honest, I don't want to write on just one specific topic. I like variety. Though I'll be lucky if I can even write a semi-coherent post. My brain goes a million miles a minute, just look at how disorganized this post is. It's like a kid whacked out on sugary cereals and kool-aid. And there I go with my poor sense of humor. I better just end this now before it gets ugly(er). No promises, but hopefully my next post will be less ADHD and just a little more focused.

Until tomorrow,
Arwen