Breathe

Day 44: I used to make fun of those girls who would say they were in love after a month of dating their boyfriend. I used to say that it was impossible to fall for someone that fast and that people who said that were just infatuated. I still have a hard time believing it even though I have experienced it myself. It's a weird feeling when you aren't in love yet but you have a high suspicion you're going to fall in love with the person. It's almost inevitable. Like, "I don't love you yet but it would be so easy to fall in love with you."

I can feel myself falling and fast. Relationships are a funny thing. It's the best and strangest feeling when you feel 100% comfortable with someone and feel like you've known them your while life but you've only known them for a little bit. It's scary too. It's scary because I still have that pain from the last time I felt this way and I don't want to get hurt again. It's scary because I've felt this way before and then that person completely turned on me. It scares me that people can just change over night.

I don't want to rush this feeling. I love this feeling where anything is possible and you don't know what will happen to next. It's the start of something and maybe everything. It's the feeling before things get too serious and you're so in love with the person it makes you crazy. It's kind of like the calm before the storm, the breathe before for you jump, the silence before a clap of thunder. It's that moment where you pause before something big happens. Are you about to become a big thing in my life? Is this the start of everything? Or nothing?