Blood Shots

Day 15: I don't have much to say today except that I'm happy. Everything isn't perfect but it's good enough for me. I don't know why I would choose a happy day to post this poem but here it is:

Blood Shots

Down one shot, down two.

I’m liking where I’m going

and don’t want to get off

of this alcohol fueled train.

Because this train is taking

me out depression and into

“Finally I’m feeling happy.”

Population 1 and that’s me.

Down three, down four.

How many more till I can say

everything I think?

Down five, down six. Lost track of how many

times my throat has burned.

My heart feels mellow but my tongue is racing.

All of my secrets spilling out like

the copper liquid that took me here.

And I’m down and low, can’t get back up.

I’m back into the blue depression,

Population 1 and that’s me.

Now my knife is calling,

“Come and play.”

Only a few cuts,

it will be okay.

But once I get a taste

of that slicing pain,

I want more and more,

need more to keep the demons away.

“What demons?”,  I think, can’t remember now.

But I like the blood coming out,

I want to see more.

Fat drops of scarlet blob and run

together making a painting on my thigh.

Back to happy,

Population 1 and that’s me.