Thursday, September 2, 2010

Sick Spirit

Day 8: There is no blog spirit flowing through me today so I give you another poem. I promise that I will have an exciting entry tomorrow as I am hanging out with the fabulous Ashley. I wrote this poem when I was very depressed and suicidal, a state I am no longer in. I'll post a happy poem...as soon as I think of one. Writing about happy things is hard. The sad things are easy.

Sick Spirit

The words won’t even come
I’m so tied up inside
can’t even bother thinking
of any rhymes, I just
want this demon out of me.
I wish I could go back to
when no one knew.
When it was just me
dealing with everything.
Then I was only disappointing
myself and not everyone else.
Now all of these people care
I don’t want their love or
the talks they give about
how good life really is,
how I can’t go that route.
I’ll do whatever I please
when it comes to myself.
Even if that means destroying
me and taking cutting off the shelf.
I never really put it away
we were just on a little break
but now we’re on more than
ever before and now I remember
why we were ever together.
I’ll take my own life if need be
to escape these bad feelings
and no one can stop me
and I don’t want them to
because I’m really doing it
this time, no more bluffing
it’s happening in a fit
of anger and lust, lust to
see myself turn into dust.
I’m sick of their concern,
I’m sick of talking,
I’m sick of advice,
really, I’m just sick of life.

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