Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Oppressive Love

Day 7: I'm not feeling any better today...at all. I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I'm just plain losing it. I can't move on from him until he tells me why. I deserve and need an explanation. I wrote this poem but I don't think it's very good. I'm not in much of a state to be writing but it's all I can really do to hold myself together. 

Oppressive Love 

My stomach is filled with death,
my mind weighed down with pain.
This burdensome load I have to carry
strips my heart into fine pieces
tearing my feelings all along the way.
Not knowing is the worst of all
I keep replaying everything in
my mind trying to figure out
what I did to make you change
your viewpoint so radically.
One day you're saying how
much you love and care about me
the next you're blowing me off
acting like I'm worth nothing.
Nourishment isn't needed,
neither is sleep. I stay awake
until I find a little peace somewhere
in the little corners of my jailed brain.
Constricted by love that won't relinquish
this would be a lot easier if I could hate you.
If only you hadn't said those beautiful words
if only you had been a jerk, given me
some warning signs that you weren't
my prince charming, instead of  
completely surprising me with your
distance and dismissal of me.

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